Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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