Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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