i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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