I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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