I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
