Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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