i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Drunk is not a location!
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