I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
