K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
