Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize