therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
