You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
