im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
