Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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