I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
