She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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