You just made me feel so damn special
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
