I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize