He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize