tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
