saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
