Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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