I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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