I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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