no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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