sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
