just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
