I want to make a zoo with you.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
