dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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