I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
