no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
