That's intense
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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