He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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