Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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