Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
