I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
