Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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