Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
