I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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