i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
