I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
