how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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