My hand turned me down
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
