When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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