fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
