We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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