either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just forgot I was standing up.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
