Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize