mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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