ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
