I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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