he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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