If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
