so that wasnt chicken after all
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
