"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
