Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
