I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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