I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
