I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize