Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
