Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
